Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Lie: You are not enough.

I don't know what season of life you are in.  I am in the season that I waited for what seemed like sooo long to be in, and now that I'm here I am reminded everyday of just how clueless I am about it.  That's not be trying to be 'humble' or anything.  It's just the more I learn about parenting, and the more my child keeps growing (as he should), the more I realize what I don't know.  Things I don't expect to happen, happen.  Things I don't think are possible, are indeed possible.  It was so much easier to be the perfect parent before I was a parent!  ha! (True Story!)

But this is something I know I could use right now, and I could have used 13 years ago too.

You are enough.

Whether you were hit in the face today by the child you have the pleasure of raising, or
Whether you have parts of your past that are too painful to tell anyone, or
Whether you are struggling to keep up with the pace of a new job, or
Whether you long to be married, or
Whether you don't know whether to leave or not.
Whether you don't know what the future holds for your health, or
Whether you long to fit 'in".
Whether you can't wait until the day you become a mommy, or
Don't know what to do now that you are pregnant.
Whether you just can't wait to get on to the next phase of life, whatever that may be.
Whether you wish your babies were back in the nest instead of spreading their wings, or
Wish you had had some babies when there was time.

You are enough.  

You are exactly the person God designed to be where you are.  Some not so ideal circumstances have happened, but God has chosen you to be where you are right now.  

There is no one who can parent the child you are parenting better than you.
There is no one better to help raise up the next generation of strong women (and men) than you.
There is no one better for this position than you.
There is no perfect season of life.
There is no one size fits all answer for every problem.
There is going to be no greater love of a child than yours.
There are so many people cheering for you.
There are so many bittersweet moments in this life, but what a pleasure it's been to see your babies grow.
It's never too late to dream.

You are doing the best that you can.
You are not a mistake.  
You have made mistakes, but you are not a sum of them.
You are enough.
You were made for a purpose and God isn't finished with you yet.

Thursday, February 8, 2018

How exactly did I give up perfect and try to enjoy the journey?

If you clicked on this for the exact answer to that question, I will warn you that I don't have all the answers.  I only have the beginnings of answers.  So, in this little space of mine I will share what I have learned and am still learning in hopes that at the minimum you feel less alone and at the maximum you can gain a unique perspective and perhaps learn something.

As some of you already know, I have moved to only making one goal (or sort of 'resolution') for the last couple of years.  I have found it really helpful because it's actually a whole lot more manageable to attain!  (Imagine that!)  I shared on my facebook page last month that this year I set my goal to be: letting go of perfect.  

It means that I am letting go of trying to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend... and I'm letting go of trying to make everybody happy.
-It's ok when I make mistakes because I can learn a lesson.
-It's ok when I lose my cool because I can try again next time.
-It's ok when people don't like me because I have a lot of friends and family.
-It's ok when things don't go as planned because something better may happen.
-It's ok that I am imperfect because I am enough.
We are all enough. It's ok to admit that we don't have it all together. (nor have I or will I ever have it all together.) We don't need to. God has it all together because He is the Author and Creator of all.

It's been so freeing to put that into writing and then also try to live it these last few weeks.  I am, of course, a work in progress in many ways so it will take at least a year to become a habit, but already I can tell that I am less stressed.  I wanted to be less stress and more able to love who was in front of me, instead of living in fear of people or circumstances.   Here’s a few great takeaways so far….

-          When I let go of my expectations of trying to be perfect, I give myself the freedom to be brave and try new things knowing that I may fail.
-          When I let go of my expectations of trying to be perfect, I give myself grace when I say something that is on my mind but may have not come out the way I wanted.  I also give myself room to apologize and seek forgiveness.
-          When I let go of trying to be perfect library patron, I give my son the opportunity to be exposed to lots of books and possibly make a mistake.  We will not stop checking out books just because of one fine.  We will take the fine an opportunity to learn and grow, and likely not borrow any books with fold out flaps for a while….

When I let go of trying to be perfect, I am giving God a much bigger role in my life to lead me and shape me.  I make more time to read the Bible and think about His words.  I am more patient with my son and husband.  I am more thoughtful towards others.

I’ve known for a long time that I was never going to be perfect.  None of us are.  The more we drive ourselves crazy trying to be perfect the further it drives us away from God.  (Or so I am convinced.)  But you know who is perfect?  God.  The Creator of the Universe who put you and me, and Joe SchMoe down the street on this earth at the same time.  I, for one, am going to let Him be the perfect One and I will be over here as my completely flawed, scarred yet beautiful woman He created me to be doing my best to be a good wife, mama and enjoy this journey we're on.