Monday, March 25, 2019

4 years ago



Four years ago my life changed forever.  I went from wondering if or when and waiting, to "Mom".  In an instant, all my childhood (and grown-up) dreams came true.  That doesn't mean it's been all sunshine and rainbows, but it has been so amazing and sacred.

I think there are very few life truly changing moments in our lives.  Turning 16, graduating high school and college, landing that dream job and for me?  It was becoming a mom.  It was a road that I didn't realize until I was already there, that was a bit more difficult for me than others.  (As in, we'd been blissfully unaware of our apparent infertility for years.  Such a blessing, looking back.)  We became parents at the precise moment God wanted us to.  And we became parents to the exact child he wanted us to.

Kind of crazy when you think about it.  And by crazy I mean, amazing and sacred again.  I mean, we didn't just magically get pregnant with half of me and half of my hubby.  We planned, prepared and filled out loads of paperwork. Completed our homestudy and applications and then an expectant mama chose us.  We were chosen.  We are the lucky ones.  We are the ones who get to raise this awesome kiddo.  We can't claim his DNA but he's been grafted into our family tree. 

When I look at him, I see his beautiful birth mother and I see the silly faces I make.  I see his beautiful skin tone and the way he taught himself how to do front flips.  I hear his sweet voice reciting Peter Rabbit or another favorite book.  I hear his drumming and singing from across the house.  I see the beautifully, wonderfully created tiny human who is so perfectly comfortable in his own skin.  I see a glimpse of the face of God.  I see God's hand at work.  I see dreams, hopes and prayers.  I see life and sunshine.

You know those few people in the world who can light up a room when they walk in, just simply by walking in?  I get to raise one of those.  And he certainly didn't get that from me.  I mean, I had this ridiculous nickname in elementary school that I'm pretty sure I got because I was hyper or something...but I don't think I EVER could light up a room just by being there.  My amazingly smart hubby couldn't either.  But our son?  Yep.  All day, every day.  Even on a bad day.  Even on the worst day.  It's just who God made him to be.

All this to say, I am so thankful for this little boy.  I am so thankful for his birthmom.  I'm so thankful to God, that I get to spend my days with this little ray of sunshine.  Happy Birthday (a little late) little man.  You are one amazing human.  I can't wait to see what this next year, as well as all the years after that, is going to bring.  We love you so much!